Once upon a time, in a galaxy not so far away, an alien from Mars descended upon Earth with an unusual mission: to come back to base with the definition to what is a family.
Armed with advanced Martian technology and an unshakable commitment, our extraterrestrial researcher was ready to get to the bottom of it.
After activating his cranial computer (because, you know, he’s an alien and doesn’t need any external devices), he turned to, “Wikipedia”. He learned that this is the human GOTO place for explanations.
Wikipedia delivered what can only be described as a ploidy-packed definition: “A family is a social institution that unites individuals with residual ties into a close cooperative group.”
Baffled and feeling lost, our Martian friend decided to play detective. Donning his finest interstellar attire, he fastened a journalist’s badge (because badges make anyone look official) and carried a ridiculously oversized microphone, accompanied by a dummy camera (because aliens have all the camera tech built right into their eyes, but Earthlings need to “see”).
Stepping out onto the bustling Earth streets, he instantly attracted a curious crowd. “Is this a reality show? Are we going to be on TV? Do I look okay for TV?” These were the pressing concerns of the Earthlings who gathered around him. And so, the alien began his quest, politely asking people to define the concept of “family.”
A man in his thirties was the first to approach the mic. “Family, my friend, is this intricate web of parents, siblings, uncles, aunts, cousins, twice-removed cousins, and… oh, did I mention my in-laws and the baby that is on the way? Yup, they’re all family!” As the man kept rambling on, our friend took a few steps back to try and distance himself from his ongoing chatter.
A college graduate who had been adopted chimed in, asserting, “My family? That’s easy. It’s the folks who adopted me, man! They’re my crew for life. As for those biological contributors, they’re just genetic donors, like a sperm-and-egg delivery service.”
Then, a fellow adoptee jumped in, exclaiming, “That’s nonsense! Me? I’ve got two families – the one that birthed me and the one that raised me. DNA, my friends, is like a secret handshake of familyhood.”
A teenager waved dismissively, declaring, “No way! Where I grew up? That’s nothing but abuse and heartbreak; My buddies are the real deal. They’ve got my back, 24/7, 365.”
Two young women, sitting side by side on the sidewalk, shared a touching moment. One pointed to her friend and whispered, “This right here, folks, is my entire family. She’s my soul sister, my partner in crime, my only one. We’ve been BFFs for a decade, and she is more family than I ever had.”
Meanwhile, an elderly gentleman, standing off to the side with his faithful dog, whispered, “Buddy, they don’t get it. You’re my family, my anchor in this nutty world.”
The alien pondered the role of animals in human families, but the commotion was overwhelming, so he returned to the diverse group of Earthlings.
Throughout the day, he interviewed the diverse crowd ; two fathers, two childless gentlemen, two mothers, single moms and dads – any possible combination.
When he finally retreated to his Martian quarters, he listened to his recordings with growing exasperation. He hadn’t found a single definitive answer on what a family was. It seemed that the definition of family was as diverse as Earth’s ecosystems.
That’s when he realized that, in the grand cosmic scheme of things, it didn’t matter what others thought. What mattered was what family meant to each individual and whom they chose to include in their heartwarming, quirky, and often bewildering family tree.
And as for our Martian friend? Well, in his scholarly, root-exploring endeavors, he’d discovered that the concept of family was as dynamic as a supernova.
So, dear Earthlings, ponder this: What’s your take on family? Who gets a coveted spot in your heart’s VIP lounge?
